Progression

By Lauren Alyse

My words are smooth sailing

Swift as fish navigating the Seine

But it wasn’t always this way

No, not at all

My pen hes-

Hesi-

Hesitated

Over and over again

Repeating lines

Over and over again

Unsure of what I should say

Of how to say it

Fear led to many crumpled papers

Hidden in trash bins

My thoughts left secret

Only known to God and I

And most times, I was drawn a blank…

Only to pick up my pen again

Unsteady and heavy in my hand, it felt

Persevering over another page

Hoping to improve my grammar and spelling

Becase I used to write lke this

Writin way too fasttt to car about mistakes

Becase noone isgonna read it…red it…read it anyways

In fact I could even write tomorrrow with as many r’s as I see fit

Because tomorrrow it will join the others in the landfills

Yet now

My diction is eloquent

And I edit frequently

My words that were once discarded

Rise from the Earth to be published for the world to see

For I know, there are many others

With the same hesitation and fear I had

I pen poems

So they can see

It isn’t as scary as it may seem to be

And even if their works overflow with rhymes

When writing about their uncertain times

It’s acceptable

Because it’s their art, their heart

Which they can choose to illustrate in any way they please

Just like I did

During the spring of 2015

My first poetry slam

Where I stumbled over my words

Stuttering into the mic

And wishing that they would turn off that harsh spotlight

It’s funny how

My mom now calls me a ham

Who radiantly beams on and off the stage

Eager to let my voice be heard

To share a piece of my mind

My heart with others

My eyes used to blur the words

Swimming across pieces of paper

that grew damp in my sweaty hands

My spirit sighed in relief

When I could rush from the podium

If only I could travel back in time

To hug my youth

I would tell her

Just you wait till 2021

I’m proud of you now

But oh honey,

You will be so pleased

To see how much you have  grown